


Two Parts (Of a Whole)

by llyrical



Series: Two [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Dissociation, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Pacifist Route, Sharing a Body, Soul Bond, Spoilers - Pacifist Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2015-11-30
Packaged: 2018-05-04 06:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5323772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/llyrical/pseuds/llyrical
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chara’s voice is steady and unwavering in your head and you wonder, not for the first time, if you should tell someone that they’re here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Parts (Of a Whole)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm such a Chara apologist that I actually wrote this. In one day. Wowie. 
> 
> This is essentially my take on what it would be like if Chara is accompanying Frisk through the pacifist route, trying to convince them to kill but unable to because Frisk's determination is too strong. It obviously contains spoilers for the pacifist route and ending. 
> 
> Warnings for some minor dissociation, implied past child abuse/neglect, and implied suicidal thoughts/attempts.

You’re in Toriel’s house, and you aren’t afraid. 

_She’ll smother you,_ a voice says. _You’ll never be able to leave._

Chara’s voice is steady and unwavering in your head and you wonder, not for the first time, if you should tell Toriel that they’re here. 

They warn you against it. _She’ll never believe you,_ they say, and you wonder how they can be so sure. 

Toriel asks you if you’re ready for dinner yet or if you’re still full from your post-nap pie. She doesn’t know that you’ve tucked the pie away in your bag for later- a habit taken from growing up in a household where you didn’t know when you’d see your next meal. Though your stomach aches- it’s been several days since you’ve eaten anything- you tell her you’d just like something light. 

She gives you a motherly smile before heading to the kitchen to cut up a bowl of fruit for you. She tells you to sit at the table while you wait and you do, folding your hands over themselves and resisting your curious urges to look around more. 

_You can’t stay here,_ Chara says. 

You ignore them.

You eat your fruit while Toriel eats something with snails in it- you couldn’t bear to look at it for too long. When you’re finished eating, you say, “Thanks for dinner, Mom.” 

You both freeze. In your head, you feel a chill, like Chara is freezing, too. 

It sends a pang of anxiety through you and you worry that Toriel will be angry, but after a moment she laughs and softly murmurs, “You are very welcome, my child.” 

Another feeling shoots through you, but this time, it’s not yours. It’s Chara’s, and they’re angry. You don’t know why, but you don’t know how to ask them without alerting Toriel to their presence and you haven’t decided if that’s what’s best yet. 

After dinner, Toriel sits in her rocking chair in the living room and reads a book. She tells you that there are toys in your room that you can play with, but they don’t interest you. Your attention is drawn to the bookshelf. 

Most are cookbooks or books about monster history and science, but you reach towards a blue book with an unmarked spine. Your muscles freeze of their own accord before you can wrap your fingers around it. 

You feel Chara fighting for control of your body. They did this on the way here, too, when you’d taken too long on a puzzle that you just couldn’t figure out. They’d shoved you out of control of your own body and they’d done it themselves before quietly retreating to the back of your mind. You’d let them; the puzzle was hard. 

But now, they couldn’t seem to gain control. Maybe it was because you weren’t ready to let them. 

You squeeze your fist and that seems to derail them long enough for you to grab the book and slide it out from the shelf. Pins and needles shoot up your arm as you examine the cover of what’s clearly a family photo album, and you ignore the feeling as you fold your knees under you and sit down to flip through the book. 

In your head, Chara is snarling at you to put the book down. _It’s none of your business,_ they growl. But Toriel hasn’t lectured you yet and so she obviously doesn’t mind, so you continue flipping through the pages. 

The first few hold pictures of Toriel and some other goat-like monster- a man this time. They appear to be a lot younger, and happy together. You have to wonder where the other monster is now, and why Toriel seems to live on her own. 

Then you get to a page that contains a single picture in the center. It depicts two smiling children, one monster and one human. The monster is another goat, and must be Toriel’s son. The human looks like you. Too much like you for comfort. Their eyes are red and their cheeks are flushed but the resemblance is uncanny. Both children wear green-and-yellow-striped shirts. 

_Chara and Asriel,_ the scrawled handwriting underneath the photo says. 

“That’s you?” you ask Chara outloud, running your fingers over the human’s form. It’s odd to finally have a face to put with the voice that’s been in your head since you landed in the Ruins this morning. 

“What was that, my child?” Toriel asks, looking up from her book. 

Your face flushes. “Nothing, sorry.” Toriel gives a worried smile before looking back down.

Chara doesn’t answer you. 

They don’t say anything for the rest of the night. 

\-----

You leave the next day. You don’t want to and Toriel doesn’t want you to, but you tell her- and yourself- that you must. 

Chara wants you to, as well. You try not to think too hard about the implications of that.

You refuse to fight Toriel. You know she couldn’t hurt you even if she wanted to. Chara is oddly silent throughout the whole endeavor. 

Toriel hugs you before she opens the door, and it’s oddly familiar. You’ve certainly never experienced anything this maternal, but you finally understand. It’s the same reason you accidentally called her ‘mom’ the night before. 

Flowey finds you before you make it a step out the door. He rambles about how you’re not safe down here and his face contorts into something wicked as he snarls, “In this world, it’s _kill or be killed._ ”

You can’t bring yourself to be scared of him, but you’re shaking. 

No, that’s not right. Chara’s shaking, their trembles reverberating through your mind and into your body until your fingertips quiver. They don’t say anything, but you hear the slightest whisper of air, as if their breath is catching. It’s difficult to tear your eyes away from Flowey and you stare at him for long enough that he blinks in confusion. You can relate. 

As you wander out into the snow, you wonder how many of Chara’s memories are going to affect yours. 

You’re filled with determination.

\-----

Sans and Papyrus make you feel safe.

Sans’ gentle persuasion for you to humor Papyrus goes well, and you actually find yourself enjoying the taller skeleton’s too-easy puzzles. After you pass through the first one rather quickly and without a mess-up, Chara scoffs in your head, _What, you don’t need me to do this one for you, too?_

You brush them off and enjoy the next puzzle.

You refuse to fight Papyrus, quickly dodging his attacks and ignoring Chara’s cries out outrage at his “special attack.” In the end, he allows you to spare him. Chara seethes quietly in the back of your head. 

Later, you go on a date with Papyrus simply because Chara doesn’t want you to and you want to see what they’ll do if you ignore them. The answer is not much, as they merely brood silently in your mind, the headspace morphing dark shades of red as you imagine Chara kicking their feet and pouting at your refusal to cooperate. 

The date goes just as well as you’d expect it to, and by the end you’re fighting not to laugh at Papyrus’ optimism and his monologue about how you two should just be friends. Afterwards, he offers you a place to stay on their couch. 

_Absolutely not,_ Chara says flatly. You hear a soft puttering sound, like they’re slamming their foot down. _We’ve gotta get a move on, kid._

 _Where to?_ you think, since Chara (belatedly) informed you earlier today that they can hear you without you speaking aloud. 

There’s a pause, as if Chara had expected you to continue ignoring them. _Out,_ they say finally. 

You smile at Papyrus. “Will you make spaghetti for dinner?” 

The skeleton beams. “Of course I will, human! I, the Great Papyrus, shall make you a feast of unforgettable proportions!” 

Chara grumbles angrily. 

_They’re going to kill you, y’know,_ Chara says cheerily as you eat Papyrus’ spaghetti- warmer this time, after you tried to subtly suggest that more heat may improve the quality of his cooking. 

Their voice is clear in your head. You lock eyes with Sans across the table and wonder if you should tell him about your backseat driver. 

But Chara hasn’t hurt you yet. Sure, they sometimes make mean comments when it takes you a while to complete the puzzles, but they’re also there to help you complete them when you just can’t figure it out. They urge you to fight and kill when you’re in a battle, but you can’t help but feel that they had something terrible happen to them that made them like this. 

You think about the picture in Toriel’s photo album. Your heart aches for Chara and you wonder if they can feel it too. 

\-----

_Your hand shakes. Your fingers ache from holding the knife so tightly._

_You catch the terrified stares of some of the villages before you cast your gaze on the fountain and see your reflection. Asriel’s reflection._

_He screams at you from within your shared head to stop, stop this, he doesn’t want this. He didn’t agree to this. This wasn’t part of the plan._

_He fights you for control._

_The knife slips from your grasp and you feel your sins crawling up your back._

You wake with a jolt rough enough to send you rolling off the couch and onto the floor. You knock your head, still tender from the fall, and you wince. 

_What was that?_ you ask Chara, keeping your headvoice to a whisper as though it was possible to disturb somebody who exists only within your mind. 

_A dream,_ they answer. Something sounds off about their voice. _Go back to sleep._

 _That wasn’t my memory_ , you think back at them.

 _Obviously,_ is all they say in response. 

You don’t go back to sleep. In the morning, Papyrus makes you spaghetti again. You thank him for his hospitality. Sans is nowhere to be seen but Papyrus assures you that you’ll likely run into him again soon. 

Chara doesn’t pester you to hurry, instead staying silent as you explore more around Snowdin. You eat lunch at Grillby’s with some of the gold you’ve gotten from your battles and you pack some food to go. Your hand brushes up against Toriel’s pie in your bag and you try not to think about her. She still hasn’t taken your calls. 

Before you leave Snowdin, you take a while to look out at the water. The wind is harsh and you’re shivering through your thin shirt, but you experience a brief moment of warmth in which it feels like a pair of ghost arms are snaking around you to protect you from the cold. 

The feeling is gone as quickly as it appeared. Chara still remains silent. You don’t prompt them about it.

You head into Waterfall and you’re filled with determination.

\-----

You’d be lying if you said that battling Undyne doesn’t scare you a bit, but more than anything, you finally understand. 

You now know that the monsters need another human SOUL to escape the underground. That’s the only reason Undyne is so persistent. You can’t convince yourself that she’s a bad person. She’s just trying to do her job and do what’s best for the monsters. 

But you have to stay determined. You can’t give up just yet. 

As always, Chara is snarling in your mind for you to fight back. Instead, you continue to dodge Undyne’s attacks and try to offer her mercy which she ignores with her nose turned up. 

For the first time, you actually die and return to your last SAVE point. Chara is mid-sentence in a flurry of words when you regain consciousness. You’re still a bit too dizzy to fully comprehend what they’re saying, but after a moment you realize that they were actually worried about you. The worry quickly morphs into anger, though, and you feel Chara’s fury rage through you and burn in your chest. 

It hurts enough that you clutch tightly at your chest through your shirt until Chara gets ahold of themselves and simmers down. 

You skip Undyne’s monologue and get right to the fight. You know what to expect now, so her attacks aren’t as difficult to avoid, but even if they were, you now have Chara acting as a guide. Maybe your death worried them or maybe they just got tired of uselessly trying to convince you to fight, but they’re now a steady stream of, _Right! Left! Right! Right!_ as spears rain down around you and you just narrowly avoid them. 

Undyne growls out a warning and demands to know how you’re doing so well. For a moment, you want to break down and tell her about Chara. Want to ask if it’s normal for your mind to be filled with a second person’s voice. 

You don’t. You continue to fight and continue to heed Chara’s advice.

The fight drags on. It eventually becomes apparent that Undyne really won’t allow you to SPARE her. 

For the slightest moment, you consider fighting back if only to end this. You’re exhausted. 

Chara picks up on your wavering emotions. Their coaching quiets and you expect them to order you to fight. 

They don’t. Instead, you’re met with silence. 

You lock eyes with Undyne. 

You flee. 

_What are you doing?!_ Chara cries in your head as your boots smack loudly against the wet ground. Undyne is screaming profanities behind you as she gives chase, her footfalls sounding too close too soon. You see the door for Hotlands up ahead. 

“Stay determined,” you pant to yourself. Your adrenaline is running high and you can’t feel your legs anymore but you’re comforted by the sound of your feet on the ground. “Stay determined. Stay determined.” 

_Stop!_ Chara yells. You resist the urge to cover your ears, knowing it won’t do anything. _Get back there and fight, you coward!_

_I’m not a killer,_ you think. You’re not sure which one of you you’re trying to convince. 

Chara goes quiet once more.

\-----

You pour the water onto Undyne even as Chara lightly suggests that you just drink it yourself. You wonder if you’ll ever get used to those comments. You wonder if you’ll ever get used to Chara themselves.

As Undyne is rehydrated, she stares up at you, eyes unreadable. There’s a loud clank of armor as she pushes herself to her feet. You stand still with your back straight, still clutching the empty plastic cup. 

She holds your stare for a long moment before turning and walking away. 

_... You didn’t have to do that, y’know,_ Chara says eventually. 

You throw the empty cup of water into the lava below before getting another one for yourself. 

_If you keep sparing everybody, you’re just going to get yourself hurt._

You drink the water. Your stomach growls, your injuries ache, and you think longingly of Toriel’s pie at the bottom of your bag. 

_I’m just trying to help you._ Their voice is more pleading than you’d heard it or ever expected to hear it. 

_I know_ , you answer. 

There’s a pause. _You do?_

_Yeah,_ you think. _But I don’t do things like you do, and that’s okay._

Chara is silent. 

You sit with your back pressed against the water dispenser. You eat half of a Bisicle out of your bag before it melts. 

When you start to drift off to sleep, Chara starts humming the song you learned in Waterfall. It fills you with determination. 

\-----

Even after Alphys tells you about her blood-thirsting robot, you can’t bring yourself to be scared in her presence. 

She notices your disheveled state and offers you a spot on her couch for the night. You eagerly accept and don’t mention that you slept by the water cooler last night. 

You spend the day helping around her lab. She seems pleasantly surprised by your offers to help in whatever ways you can, and though she seems a bit nervous in your presence, she eventually warms up to you and rambles happily about some anime while you work. 

_If I hear the word ‘desu’ one more time I’m going to kill myself,_ Chara groans eventually. 

_You shouldn’t make jokes like that,_ you think at them. The words seem tense and strained even in your head. 

_It wasn’t a joke._

You flinch. Alphys notices and comments with a worried look that you look pale and asks if you’re feeling alright. 

You force a smile and say that you’re fine.

You can’t help but wonder if Chara used to do the same thing. 

You look at Alphys and wonder if you should tell her about Chara. Alphys is a scientist; maybe she’d know what to do about them. 

It occurs to you how quiet your head would be without Chara and you set the thought aside.

Alphys makes you instant noodles for dinner and gives you a second packet to put in your bag. You can’t help but think about how the food you’ve eaten over the past few days is more than you usually have in a week. 

_Maybe returning to the surface isn’t worth it_ , you think. You quickly push the thought away. 

After Alphys goes to bed in the apartment kept above her lab, you sneak out onto the roof. Part of it is your own need for air after being in the lab all day and part of it is to get Chara to stop ordering you to do it. 

The view is underwhelming. You’re not sure whether you expected to see fake “stars” like in Waterfall, but you’d maybe hoped for something more than just the usual volcanic rock of Hotlands that you’d stared at all of last night. 

Still, you lay down on the roof and stare up at where the sky would be if you were aboveground. 

“Chara,” you say. 

They don’t scold you for unnecessarily speaking aloud like they usually would. Instead, they hesitate for a moment before murmuring, _Hm?_

“If I was to give up my SOUL… the monsters could return to the surface,” you say. “Everybody could be happy.” 

_Frisk-_ they say before cutting themselves off. It’s the first time they’ve said your name. 

You’re shaking, but you press on, “Would it be worth giving up my SOUL?”

 _Don’t be a martyr._ It’s said with such finality that you don’t expect an elaboration, but they quickly continue, _You may expect everybody to regard you as a hero and honor you for your noble sacrifice, but they won’t. You may try to do a good thing, but nobody will appreciate it. People… people are disgusting, Frisk. You try to see the good in them, but you’re really only seeing what they want you to see. The ugly truth is that your best friend will support you until the end and then be the one to seal your fate._

You think back to your dream; Chara’s memory. “Are… are you talking about Asriel?” you try. 

There’s no answer for so long that you think Chara is going back to the silent treatment. Finally, after what feels like hours, the voice replies, _You ask too many questions._

You don’t ask any more.

You wrap your arms around yourself as if you’re hugging Chara. After a moment, you feel phantom hands brush against yours and you smile. 

\-----

The next day, you go on a dinner date with Sans, though it’s not really a date and there’s not actually any dinner involved. He tells you about Toriel, though he doesn’t mention her by name, and it sends Chara reeling. You can feel them pacing back and forth in your head. You mentally try to soothe them, though they brush off your touches and seethe quietly. 

You find out that Alphys had been setting the traps to make herself look better. You can’t bring yourself to be upset with her. Instead, you feel bad for her and are glad you accepted her earlier invitation to watch anime sometime if you meet up again before you return to the surface. 

Fighting Mettaton goes smoothly, though Chara spends the entire time making snide comments in your head about his appearance. Every time Mettaton makes a comment, Chara has a quick-witted response. 

Of course, on top of that are Chara’s usual pressures to just fight for once. _He could kill you if he wanted to,_ they point out. 

_I know,_ you think back as you dodge an attack, panting. _But he won’t._

Chara huffs out angrily. 

You aren’t ready to leave the Core immediately after your battle. You get a hotel room with the gold you’ve racked up and eat cheap fast food for dinner. While waiting in line, you mentally ask Chara if they have anything specific they want to eat, and after a moment, they sheepishly ask how you feel about chocolate milkshakes. 

You get a large chocolate shake along with your burger and fries. Chara doesn’t thank you but they lay off the rude remarks for the night. When you try to strike up a casual conversation about a TV show playing on the hotel room’s tiny television, Chara humors you and actually replies. 

As you try to sleep, you’re making a mental list of all the friends you’ve made since falling. It should surprise you that Chara is the first person who pops into your mind, but it doesn’t. 

Your newfound friendship fills you with determination as you fall asleep.

\-----

You don’t want to fight Asgore. Chara tells you that you won’t be able to spare him and that scares you. 

New Home is a perfect mirror of Toriel’s house and you’re filled with nostalgia. You’re not sure whose it is. 

It feels almost intrusive, wandering into the rooms of strangers. Wandering into the room that used to be Chara and Asriel’s. There’s a box on the floor. Chara tells you to open it. 

It contains a locket. 

_Take it,_ Chara orders. 

“It’s not mine,” you tell them, forgetting again that you needn’t speak aloud. 

_Yeah, I know,_ Chara snarls. _It’s_ mine.

You put it on. Your hand plays with the clasp for a moment and you want to open it but you can’t bear to shake up your thoughts any more than they already are. Not right now. You let the necklace fall under your shirt. The metal is cold against your skin. 

Chara is quiet but content. 

The silence doesn’t last more than a minute, though, for as you travel through New Home and many monsters pop up to start telling you the tale of Chara’s life, they feel the need to constantly interject and add details. 

_They have the story wrong,_ Chara defends when you ask them if they really need to comment on everything. _I didn’t get sick._

You have a sinking feeling in your chest. _What happened, then?_

_I poisoned myself._

You stop walking. The hallway seems to shrink around you. 

_Well, Asriel helped poison me, if you want to be technical,_ they continue, too casual. You wish you could wrap your arms around them and have to fight the urge to hug yourself once more. 

“Why?” you ask. Your voice trembles. You know you don’t have to talk but you’re having a difficult time convincing yourself that this is real. 

You didn’t ever have any doubts about Chara’s existence, but hearing the stories from the other monsters just solidified it. 

_I wanted to merge my SOUL with Asriel’s body. Then he could cross the barrier and get the SOULs of seven humans to break the barrier and free the kingdom. Our kingdom._

There’s a pause. 

_But he abandoned me._

Your hand is shaking and it takes you a moment to realize that you’re not the one controlling your muscles as you reach up and take hold of the locket. You hold onto it for a long moment with Chara’s intent. 

Chara’s voice drops to a whisper, _Kill or be killed._

\-----

 _You have to fight him_ , Chara tells you. It’s like a mantra. You could have perfectly mimicked Chara’s tone and affliction for those specific words by now.

“I can’t,” you answer aloud, breathing heavily as you dodge an attack. Asgore doesn’t question who you’re talking to. You try again to ACT and talk to him. It does you no good.

Chara repeats it again. You try and fail to ACT. Chara tells you again, more urgently, to fight. 

This goes on and on until you eventually realize that you have to fight. 

_Aim for the heart._

You feel sick. You meet Asgore’s sad stare and wonder if he would allow you to spare him if he knew that Chara is in your head. That his child, at least one of them, is still here. 

But that’s a dirty trick. You won’t use Chara like that.

You raise your frail stick and swing.

You don’t do much damage, of course you don’t, but Chara cheers you on anyways. You hear a hiss of something that you think might be, _Finally._

You don’t know how to fight like this. Toriel wanted you to spare everybody. 

And you will. You won’t kill Asgore. You’re fighting to stop the battle, not to win it.

When Asgore’s health starts to get low and his attacks weaken, you try to spare him again. You try again and again to talk, telling him how much you would enjoy having a cup of tea with him.

His eyes soften. The flames on his hands extinguish. 

_End it,_ Chara says.

You drop your weapon.

Asgore smiles at you. He opens his arms. Starts to talk about how perhaps you could all be a family.

A bullet-like seed appears out of nowhere and strikes the king in the chest.

You shriek out of shock but you don’t even hear yourself; instead, your ears are filled with Chara’s outraged yelling. Your head feels too full and you futilely cover your ears as Chara snarls profanities.

Asgore has been reduced to a pile of dust. There are tears in your eyes and Chara is yelling at you that you’re a crybaby even though you can hear the shaking in their own voice.

Flowey appears before you. The room is engulfed in darkness.

At Chara’s order, you pick up your weapon. Your desire to protect yourself and them fills you with determination.

\-----

When you stare up at the Eldritch Abomination that is Omega Flowey, you’re not scared. You’re _terrified._

Chara is still screaming. They don’t seem to recognize that Flowey can’t hear them. 

_You bastard, I’ll kill you, you didn’t used to be like this, you used to-_

A high-pitched whine escapes from your mouth. Your head aches with Chara’s anger. You feel your SOUL burning in your chest.

You cry out in despair when Flowey destroys your SAVE file. He laughs loudly and mocks you.

“I can’t wait to kill you over and over again, Chara,” he laughs. He’s talking to you, not to the voice in your head, and for a moment, you panic. 

_I’m Frisk,_ you tell yourself. 

But Flowey attacks before you can ground yourself. A vine pierces your heart. It’s worse than when Undyne killed you. At least you knew that was for a good cause.

He reloads your SAVE before you have the chance to become fully conscious. You’re killed again. And again. Each time, Flowey cackles. He calls you Chara and you start to wonder where the line between you and them is.

After the eighth time you die, you start to lose hope. You feel Chara tugging for the reins and you let them. Your hand shakily raises to hit Flowey with your stick. You can’t feel your fingers and you don’t know if it’s because Chara is controlling you or because you’ve gone numb with fear.

You (Chara?) get a few hits in before something happens. Another SOUL appears and begins to heal you, pulling you out of the fight long enough for you to regain yourself. You clear your head just before you’re thrust back into Flowey’s warzone.

 _I should have killed you a long time ago,_ Chara snarls, and you wonder who they’re talking to.

\-----

_Don’t spare him._

That’s the rational choice. That’s what Flowey is telling you, too.

Once again, you move towards SPARE.

_Don’t!_

Chara sounds legitimately angry, but they also sound a bit broken. You wonder what they’re not telling you.

You SPARE him again.

“Why are you doing this?” Flowey shouts. “Don’t you know that I’m just going to come after you again, Chara?” 

_I should rip those petals off one by one until you’re begging-_

SPARE.

 _Don’t do it, Frisk. He already got his second chance._

SPARE.

 _Why won’t you listen to me?_ There’s a sharp pain in your head, like Chara is pounding their fists on the inside of your skull.

SPARE.

“I don’t understand,” Flowey says. 

SPARE.

“I… just… can’t… understand.” 

_Everything we’ve worked for, Frisk!_

SPARE.

There’s a fine line between you and Chara, you tell yourself. You’re not ready to cross it just yet.

Flowey resets your SAVE from right before you fought Asgore. As he disappears back into the ground, Chara lets out a sob.

You ignore the urge to hug Asgore, all in one piece. You tell him that you have some business to wrap up, and he nods solemnly. 

Your heart hurts, but your SOUL is filled with determination.

\-----

You hang out with Undyne at her house. Chara is silent in your head. You wonder if they’re mad at you or at themselves.

After Undyne’s house goes up in flames, you two find yourself back in Snowdin at Papyrus and Sans’ house. Undyne gives you a letter for Alphys and you promise to deliver it to her in the morning. 

Undyne takes up residence on the skeleton brothers’ couch for an indefinite amount of time, so you spend the night curled up on the floor. You assure Papyrus that you only need one blanket, but he waits until he thinks you’re asleep before piling two more on top of you.

You’re warm but your head is silent and cold.

\----

Sleep doesn’t come. Your head is too quiet without Chara’s chatter or idle humming. When you close your eyes, you see Flowey’s Omega form. Your chest aches with the phantom pains of being pierced through with vines.

You write a note for the others and leave in the middle of the night. It’s dawn by the time you arrive at Alphys’ lab. 

Chara first makes themselves known again when you accidentally ask Alphys on a date. They’re not addressing you, not really, but you hear them give a surprised snort, and you smile.

You go to the junkyard with Alphys. You roleplay with her. Chara starts making rude jokes in your head again, and while you don’t really find them funny, you laugh anyways. 

You tell Undyne that anime is real, and it has Chara laughing for a good minute. It’s a nice sound and you wish you’d gotten to hear it more before.

Undyne thanks you genuinely. For a moment, you feel a strong connection with her. You wonder if you should tell her about Chara.

The voice in your head doesn’t stop you, but you stay quiet all the same.

And then you find the underground lab. As the elevator drops lower and lower, your fingers tremble and you’re filled with determination. 

\-----

You’re scared.

You don’t know what this creature in Alphys’ lab is and you’re not sure you want to. The entire trek through the lab had Chara quiet in disgusted silence as you read the lab reports outloud.

Now you’re faced with a monstrous creature that’s somehow even worse than Omega Flowey.

Maybe it’s childish, but you’re paralyzed by fear. You try to ACT, but you’re shaking. The creature takes your moment of weakness to attack. 

Your bag is on the other side of the room. You need to eat something and regain health. You’re starting to feel dizzy.

 _Let me take over, Frisk._

Every rational part of your brain tells you not to. You’re a pacifist, and Chara is not.

But you’re scared.

_I’ll keep you safe._

Letting go of control fully is a weird sensation, like you’re floating alongside your body but still looking out of your eyes. They flash red as Chara fully secures your limbs.

You don’t have a weapon. Your stick was broken in the fight with Flowey.

Seemingly without any hesitation, Chara throws one of your fists through the glass window of a medicine cabinet.

You cry out as pain splinters through your hand, but Chara doesn’t seem to notice it. They use your fingers to tightly grip a glass shard.

You don’t look. You can’t squeeze your eyes shut with Chara controlling your body, so you instead slip into the back of your mind and wait for it to be over.

Chara may be in full control, but they can’t stop the anguished sobs that leave your body. 

They don’t try to.

\-----

The amalgamate is dead. There’s blood on your hands and you know that it’s yours from the cuts, and monsters don’t bleed, but it still makes you feel sick.

The glass falls to the ground.

Chara is smugly silent.

You reload your SAVE file.

Chara screams at you, demands to know why you did that. You start back through the lab, skipping the reports and searching for the keys.

“I’m not a killer,” you say.

_Resetting doesn’t change the fact that it happened!_

That makes you feel sick. You try not to let it show. 

You find the videotapes. Chara is quiet when you watch the ones with them and Asriel. Their voice is familiar and it sounds strange filtering out of the speaker rather than coming from within your head.

It’s not until you put the tapes away that you realize that you’re clutching the locket again.

You don’t know which one of you grabbed it. You’re not sure where you stop and Chara begins anymore. 

You SPARE all of the amalgamates. They were just lost souls. They were just looking for mercy.

You can’t judge Chara for their actions. You don’t know their story. You were raised on mercy. Chara was not.

Your SOULs are intertwined. You can feel them beating in sync in your chest. 

You don’t know why Chara is with you, but it fills you with determination.

\-----

“I’m not afraid,” you tell Asriel. You’re not.

But Chara is. You can feel them shaking.

It’s not like with Flowey. They’re not yelling profanities, even though you now understand that they were doing it before because they recognized Flowey as their former best friend. It’s as if seeing Asriel in the flesh has left them incapable of cursing him.

But you already knew that. Chara doesn’t hate Asriel, as much as they try to.

“Why does it have to be like this, Chara?” Asriel calls to you as he lays on another attack.

It splits your SOUL in two. It feels like your lungs are being ripped out of your chest.

But Chara’s determination is burning in you, too, and your SOUL refuses to quit. 

You consider telling Asriel that you’re not Chara. That Chara is in your head. You wonder if it would change anything.

Asriel won't accept your mercy and you weakly fight him despite the tears stinging your eyes. Chara is a constant stream of mumbles and for once, they don’t encourage you to fight.

You don’t blame them. You wouldn’t be able to fight your best friend, either.

You wouldn’t be able to fight Chara.

\-----

“... You’re not Chara.”

It’s relieving to hear the words from someone other than yourself.

You tell him that your name is Frisk. He smiles and repeats it softly to himself.

He tells you that the barrier is open. Everybody can go free.

You don’t say anything. Chara has you shaking.

Your head is silent, and then, _... You idiot._

You’re startled.

 _He’s a liar!_ Chara shouts, sounding angry. _Not everybody can go free! He can’t go free like this!_

Your heart aches. Asriel smiles at you before he disappears. 

Your loved ones are safe. You should be happy, but it’s hard to with Chara raging inside you.

Once again, it feels like they’re pounding on the inside of your head. They’re throwing a tantrum, and you can’t blame them.

 _This wasn’t part of the plan, Asriel!_ they sob, though they must know that he’s no longer here. _I was the one who was supposed to die, not you!_

Your friends surround you and wrap you in a hug. Your fingers clench around the heart-shaped locket as tears drip down your cheeks.

The surface looms above you. It fills you with determination.

\-----

Chara is scared. 

They’d never admit it, but after a week of sharing a headspace, you can just tell. 

You take your time traveling back through the Underground, spreading the news of the success in breaking the barrier. To your surprise, nobody asks how the king secured the final soul. You’re not sure you have it in you to explain it anyways.

When you cross through Toriel’s home, Chara quietly asks you to get the photo album. 

You do so without question, sitting down in Toriel’s chair- which is much too big for you- and flipping to the page containing the photo you know that Chara wants to look at. 

You fingers trace over the words at the bottom, almost subconsciously. _’Chara and Asriel,’_ Chara reads. 

You don’t close the book. You continue looking at the page until Chara starts to speak again.

 _When I climbed Mt. Ebott,_ they start, _I didn’t intend to survive the fall._

At this point, you’d figured that out. Still, you flinch. 

_I… I wanted to die,_ they continued. _But when I fell, I broke my leg. Shattered it. And I screamed out for help because all I could think about in that moment was the pain._

_Asriel was the one who came for me. And from that moment on, we were Chara and Asriel._

_I always used to wonder how weird it must have been before I was here. When he was just Asriel._

_And then he was. Just Asriel._

Your small hands clench into fists. 

_I guess what I did was kind of selfish, huh?_ They laugh, but it’s humorless. _I thought he’d be fine without me. When all the monsters went to the surface, he could be happy. But he couldn’t bring himself to kill. And for that, I allowed him to be killed._

You make a small noise at that. It wasn’t what you were expecting. 

_I want you to take the picture,_ they say suddenly. _Don’t… don’t let Asriel’s life be in vain, okay? Act as an ambassador for the monsters. There are a lot of bad humans out there, Frisk. Make sure they end up with the good ones._

You nod shakily and pull the photo out. It makes a squelching noise as the old glue is pulled from the page. The book smells old, too, and you wonder how long Chara has been dead for. 

You don’t ask. 

_It’s been fun, Frisk,_ they say, and you panic. 

“Wait, what?” you ask. You speak at the Chara in the picture since you’re not able to look at the one you’re actually talking to. “Where are you going?”

There’s a pause and when they answer, they sound confused. _Well, uh, you’re going back to the surface, so-_

“You’re not coming with me?”

You feel the headspace shift purple with confusion. _You want me to?_ Chara sounds genuinely surprised. 

You’re nodding before they finish their sentence. You wrap your arms firmly around yourself. 

_You know that humans tend to find it strange when little kids hear voices in their head,_ Chara points out. 

You nod. 

_... You know that I’m not like you, right? I’m not a good person, Frisk. I’ve killed before and I would kill again if I had to._

It’s slower this time, but you nod again. 

_... Why?_

“It’s too quiet when you don’t talk,” you answer honestly. “I can’t imagine what it would be like if you were never around.” 

Chara laughs softly at that, and after a moment, they quietly agree to accompany you to the surface. 

Your chest burns pleasantly with the happiness radiating from Chara’s SOUL.

\-----

You find Asriel at the bed of flowers you fell on. Chara’s burial spot, you now know. You wonder what he’s thinking of.

“Why did you climb the mountain, Frisk?” he asks you. In your head, you can feel Chara wondering the same thing. “Chara… Chara didn’t do it for very happy reasons.”

He tells you that Chara hated humanity. They don’t disagree.

“I’m starting to realize that maybe… maybe Chara wasn’t a good person.” There’s a nostalgic sadness in Asriel’s voice. He’s been through too much for a child.

The headspace morphs with silent agreement.

As you embrace Asriel once more, he chokes out, “I wish I could have said goodbye.”

Chara doesn’t have to ask; you silently slip from control. Chara taking over almost feels like a relief, as if you don’t have to shoulder all of these emotions alone anymore.

“I know,” they say. It’s strange to hear them speaking through you. It’s your voice but Chara’s affliction.

Asriel stiffens. He doesn’t pull back from the hug, as if he’s afraid the moment will shatter if he does.

Chara drops your head against Asriel’s shoulder. 

The prince lets out a sob. 

You can feel your muscles tensing, Chara going still before they stutter, “H-hey, crybaby, what are you doing? Our plan worked in the end. You’re a hero.” 

Asriel’s arms tighten around you. 

You can feel your own eyes prickle with tears. You wonder if they’re yours or Chara’s.

“I’m sorry that I failed you,” Asriel murmurs eventually. “But I’m not sorry that I let those people live.” 

Chara clenches your fists. You feel them biting back their retort. 

After a long moment, they mutter, “It’s okay.” 

It seems that that’s all they care to say to Asriel, for they slip out of control and you’re forced into it sooner than you expected. You pull away from Asriel and he smiles sadly at you. 

“Thank you,” he says. You’re not sure what he’s thanking you for, but you nod. 

He raises a paw and grips the locket around your neck for a second before letting it fall back against your chest. You forgot it was even there; the weight is comforting. 

“Take care of them, okay?” he asks.

You nod again. It seems that Chara speaking took away all of your will to. 

Asriel bids you farewell before turning back to the flowers. It seems that’s all he wants to say. You tremble, extending a hand. You want to embrace him again. Beg him to return to the surface with you. You just met him, but Chara’s memories are blending with yours and you feel as though you’re leaving your own brother behind.

 _Let’s go,_ Chara says softly. You nod shakily. 

The walk back to the castle is filled with silence. In the midst of it, Chara starts humming the song from Waterfall again, and the familiar sound fills you with determination. 

\-----

The surface should make you feel safe. Instead, the moment you’re above ground, you’re hit with anxieties for the future. 

But Chara is there throughout it, a soft voice whispering that everything is going to be okay. 

You stand with your friends, watching the sun rise. When it’s just you and Toriel, she asks if you would like to stay with her or if you have somewhere to go. 

Chara doesn’t give you any direction, but their thoughts are a steady stream of _’staystaystaystaystaymommommommomMOMMOM’_. You doubt they realize that you can hear them. 

You wouldn’t have anywhere to stay anyways, but you agree because you know it’s what’s best for both you and Chara. 

Toriel beams and wraps you in a warm embrace. As your press your face against her fur, you wonder, once again, if you should tell her about Chara. 

Knowing about Chara helped Asriel, you reason. Doesn’t Toriel deserve to know?

After a moment, you decide against it. Asriel needed closure. Finality. Toriel is starting a new life; she needs to look towards the future. 

Chara doesn’t speak, but you can tell they’re relieved.

\-----

“Goodnight, Mom,” you say, accepting the kiss that Toriel places on your forehead before going to turn out your light. 

“Goodnight, my child,” she says with a kind smile before shutting the door. The room is engulfed in darkness; the moon outside is hidden behind clouds. 

You wait until you hear Toriel’s footsteps trailing away before saying, “Chara?” 

_Hm?_

“Why did you come into my head when I… when I first fell?” 

Chara makes a soft sound. You look towards the spot on your wall that you know the picture of Chara and Asriel is hanging up. Toriel had asked you why you took it, and you had just told her you made a promise to someone. She hadn’t questioned you any further. 

_Your determination,_ they answer eventually. 

You nod, accepting that answer. You don’t expect anything more, but after a moment, they continue, _It was stronger than that of the other souls. I knew you’d be powerful. I wanted to use that to my advantage._

You roll onto your side, pulling your knees up to your chest. A phantom hand strokes your hair. You wonder for a moment if it’s strange that your best friend is technically a ghost, and then you remind yourself that you live with monsters. 

_Instead, you just used it to prove me wrong. You used your determination to make it out alive without killing anybody, when I would have used it for the opposite._

The implication gives you chills. Chara seems to notice and they drop the subject. 

You’re half-asleep by the time they murmur, _Hey, Frisk?_

You make a sleepy sound of recognition to show you’re listening. 

_... Thanks for giving me a second chance to grow up._

You smile and hug your knees closer to your chest. 

Your heart beats in your chest alongside Chara’s SOUL. You fall asleep to the sound of it against your pillow as you’re filled with determination.


End file.
